venerdì 21 settembre 2007

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mi è arrivata questa mail...per l'ennesima volta..la rimastanza a contagiato un po' tutti i miei contatti evidentemente....cmq ho pensato, prima di cancellarla, che si addice al ns amato blog, soprattutto la parte finale. anche se nn vi è nuova...è cmq carina...perciò....eccola qua:

Un amico (il nome non me lo ricordo) che soffre di Alzheimer me lo ha mandato dalla Germania: é per tutti gli adulti contemporanei pseudo-intellettuali neuro-ipocondriaci (ovverosia, tutti noi)....
Dicono che tutti i giorni dobbiamo mangiare una mela per il ferro e una banana per il potassio.
Anche un´arancia per la vitamina C e una tazza di té verde senza zucchero, per prevenire il diabete.Tutti i giorni dobbiamo bere due litri d´ acqua (sí, epoi pisciarli, che richiede il doppio del tempo che hai perso in berteli).
Tutti i giorni bisogna mangiare un Actimel o uno yogurt per avere i 'L. Cassei Defensis', che nessuno sa bene che cosa cavolo sono, peró sembra che se non ti ingoi per lo meno un milione e mezzo di questi bacilli (?) tutti i giorni, inizi a vedere sfocato.
Ogni giorno un´ aspirina, per prevenire l´ infarto, eun bicchiere di vino rosso, sempre contro l´infarto.E un altro di bianco, per il sistema nervoso.E uno dibirra, che giá non mi ricordo per che cosa era. Se li bevi tutti insieme, ti puó dare un´ emorragia cerebrale, peró non ti preoccupare perché non te ne renderai neanche conto.
Tutti i giorni bisogna mangiare fibra. Molta, moltissima fibra, finché riesci a cagare un maglione.
Si devono fare tra i 4 e 6 pasti quotidiani, leggeri, senza dimenticare di masticare 100 volte ogni boccone. Facendo i calcoli, solo in mangiare se ne vanno 5 ore.Ah, e dopo ogni pranzo bisogna
lavarsi i denti, ossia che dopo l´ Actimel e la fibra lavati i denti, dopo la mela i denti, dopo il banano i denti... e cosí via finché ti rimangono dei denti in bocca, senza dimenticarti di usare il filo interdentale, massaggiare le gengive, il risciacquo con Listerine... Meglio ampliare il bagno e metterci il lettore di CD, perché tra l´ acqua, le fibre e i denti, ci passerai varie ore lí dentro.
Bisogna dormire otto ore e lavorare altre otto, piú le 5 necessarie per mangiare, 21. Te ne rimangono 3, sempre che non ci sia traffico. Secondo le statistiche, vediamo la tele per tre ore al giorno.Giá non si puó, perché tutti i giorni bisogna camminare almeno mezz´ ora (per esperienza: dopo 15 minuti torna indietro, se no la mezz´ ora diventa una).
Bisogna mantenere le amicizie perché sono come le piante, bisogna innaffiarle tutti i giorni. E anche quando vai in vacanza, suppongo. Inoltre, bisogna tenersi informati, e leggere per lo meno due giornali e un paio di articoli di rivista, per una lettura critica.
Ah!, si deve fare sesso tutti i giorni, peró senza cadere nella routine: bisogna essere innovatori, creativi, e rinnovare la seduzione. Tutto questo ha bisogno di tempo. E senza parlare del sesso tantrico (al rispetto ti ricordo che bisogna lavarsi i denti dopo che si mangia qualsiasi cosa!). Bisogna anche avere il tempo di scopar per terra, lavare i piatti, i panni, e non parliamo se hai un cane o ... dei FIGLI???
Insomma, per farla breve, i conti mi danno 29 ore al giorno. La unica possibilitá che mi viene in mente è fare varie cose contemporaneamente: per esempio: ti fai la doccia con acqua fredda e con la bocca aperta cosí ti bevi i due litri d´ acqua.Mentre esci dal bagno con lo spazzolino in bocca fai l’amore (tantrico) al compagno/a, che nel frattempo guarda la tele e ti racconta, mentre tu lavi per terra. Ti é rimasta una mano libera?? Chiama ai tuoi amici! E i tuoi! Bevi il vino (dopo aver chiamato i tuoi ne avrai bisogno). Il BioPuritas con la mela te lo puó dare il tuo compagno/a, mentre si mangia la banana con l’Actimel, e domani fanno cambio. E meno male che siamo cresciuti, se no dovremmo trangugiare un ALPINITO Extra Calcio ttti i giorni. Uuuuf!
Peró se ti rimangono due minuti liberi, invia questo messaggio ai tuoi amici (che bisogna innaffiare come una pianta) mentre mangi una cucchiaiata di Total Magnesiano, che fa un mondo di bene.
Adesso ti lascio, perché tra lo yogurt, la mela, la birra, il primo llitro d´ acqua e il terzo pasto con fibra della giornata, giá non so piú cosa sto facendo peró devo andare urgentemente al cesso. E ne approfitto per lavarmi i denti....

SE TI HO GIÁ MANDATO QUESTO MESSAGGIO, PERDONAMI PERÓ È L´ ALZHEIMER, CHE NONOSTANTE TUTTE LE CURE NON SONO RIUSCITO A COMBATTERE.

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la mail è carina, soprattutto nel pezzo finale in cui parla del cesso ecc ecc, xò..mamma mia, m'ha fatto angosciare proprio!! e mangia questo e bevi quello, e fai colì e non fare colà, e lava i denti dopo mangiato, e quello sì xchè fa bene lì, quello no xchè fa male là, e la mezz'ora al giorno di camminata, e le 8 ore di sonno, e non + di tot ore al computer (questo l'ho aggiunto io..), e blablabla... altro che vita salutare, a seguir tutte ste regole ti viene la gastrite nervosa e poi ti ricoverano per eccesso di stress!!!! che poi è ovvio che la mail è tutta una presa x il culo xò.. pensare che c'è gente che segue veramente molte di quelle regole mi prende male..

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ha messo l'ansia anche a me questa email!!! :-))
troppo tempo per seguire tutto!!!
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Scorpio79 ha detto...

Sono d'accordo con voi, sta cosa mette un'ansia...
Ciao Patty. Come vedi sono già tornato. Se non ti offendi ti (anzi vi) avrei linkato... Ciao Scorpio79

Greg ha detto...

Mentre leggevo questa mail ho iniziato a lavarmi i denti, a fare la doccia, a telefonare ad un amico, a pulire la casa, a camminare...tutto contemporaneamente! Fermatemi, vi prego!
Ciao

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@blog_toscano: eh infatti.. ci vorrebbero 40 ore x riuscire a fare tutto!

@scorpio79: benvenuto!! anzi, bentornato :)
ma quale offesa?? ci fa piacerissimo!! ora ricambiamo subito.. a presto!

@greg: complimenti! e mentre facevi tutto questo hai trovato anche il tempo di commentarci!! hai tutta la nostra ammirazione ;)

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Grazie bdp del commento. E del link. Ancora buon we!

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@ scorpio 79:ma figuurati quale offesa ^__^!!anzi grazie!!!abbiamo prontamente ricambiato ^__^!!!!!!
@ blog_toscano e greg:ansiaaaa!!!!sta mail ha contagiato tutti noi ^__^!!!!!

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